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Meet the Team!
Anonymous Lamp
Founder & Operations Manager
Anonymous Lamp is currently a high school junior, and she finds writing about herself in third-person to be a rather strange experience. Quick note: if you are expecting an inspirational story, you will be sadly disappointed. As a person who has read numerous typical, uninteresting bios in the past, she wants to make sure that whoever comes across her bio does not immediately skip over it. With that said, Anonymous Lamp enjoys sitting in silence, reading web comics, and contemplating her existence in her mostly nonexistent free time. Over the course of her extremely long and extensive life, she has come to the conclusion that she must be at least somewhat evil. She asks you to disregard this small concern, however, as it will likely not affect her personal pursuits or the collective goal of the team.
Incognito Saltine Cracker
Incognito Saltine Cracker is a current high school sophomore. She enjoys reading, eating food, drinking drinks, and, of course, making origami and origami earrings in her free time. She has a cool cat named Whiskey who is mostly pretty friendly but has an annoying habit of jumping onto tables. Despite her frequent baking attempts, she often fails when making cookies. During quarantine, Incognito Saltine Cracker's procrastination has only gotten worse, and it is surprising that she even got around to submitting her bio. In fact, she should be doing homework right now but is stalling by writing this. How long does a bio even need to be? If anyone has actually read this far, please congratulate yourself by buying some earrings from Orzire. Thank you, and remember to wear a mask.
Production Manager
Mystery Walrus
Mystery Walrus is mysterious and not at all suspicious. Mystery Walrus is clearly not human. Mystery Walrus exists right here, right now. But Mystery Walrus doesn't only exist right here, right now. Allow Mystery Walrus to bestow upon you its amazing, wondrous insight. Okay, just kidding. Sorry about that. Mystery Walrus is mysterious and not at all suspicious. She is, however, human. And she does indeed exist in only one place at a time, just like a regular human. At least that's what she thinks. But she also knows that what she thinks might not be the same as reality. If there are aliens in this world, Mystery Walrus would really like to see them some day.